Saturday, January 3, 2015

ASH is FREE!


That's right - Ash (Asher Benson #1) is FREE! Join Oprah in a freebie freak out.

Happy New Year, dear freaks. To start 2015 off with a bang, I've decided to make Ash (Asher Benson #1) FREE. I know that most of you have read and loved The Hunger books and you've been kicking around the idea of trying my new series. Well, I've decided to make that decision easier by giving it to you for the beautiful price of $0. All I ask in return is that you give ol' Asher Benson a chance and if you enjoy the book to please leave it a review (just a single sentence helps me). Ash is my favorite character and if you enjoy my other work, I know that you'll love him too.



9 AM EST: A senator shoots himself on national television.

10:32 AM EST: An entire floor of government agents leap to their death from their office building.

12:57 PM EST: All the police officers inside a station murder each other.

And the day has just begun.

Lieutenant Asher Benson left Iraq with a traumatic brain injury, PTSD, and a Purple Heart. His doctors warned that the symptoms would be life altering. They had no idea. As his body healed, the thoughts of those around him began to echo through Ash’s mind, stretching the boundaries of his sanity.

Five years later, Ash is drowning the voices with copious amounts of booze and self-loathing.

When unidentified intelligence agents abduct him in broad daylight, Ash is thrust into a world of espionage and assassinations. A unique terrorist is operating on U.S. soil, and the government needs Ash, and the malady that has plagued him for half a decade, to find the killer.

*Ash is the first book in the Asher Benson thriller series, which is full of snarky humor and nonstop action.

Friday, January 2, 2015

The Horror of the Holidays by Spencer Blohm

This is a bit late for the season, but it's close enough for horse shoes and hand grenades. And government work. I know all about that crap.

Here's Spencer...

Halloween is over, and sadly, a lot of the best scary movies aren't playing on the television anymore. However, this does not mean that you have to stop watching horror films. Listed below are five of the most entertaining horror films that you can watch during Christmastime.


Santa's Slay

Released in 2005, Santa's Slay is a mixture of light horror and comedy with an original take on the story of Santa Claus. In this twist of a tale, Santa Claus is actually the son of Satan who once went on annual killing sprees; that is, until he lost a curling bet to an angel in the year 1005 AD. He was then forced to spread holiday cheer instead of horror for 1000 years. The bet is now over, and Santa is back. He kills everyone from the naughty to the nice when he comes to town, and only a hero ironically named Nicolas Yuleson can stop the murder rampage. This demon Santa is played by heavyweight champion Bill Goldberg who makes the movie hilarious to watch with his one-liner puns.


The Shining

Based on the book written by acclaimed horror novelist Stephen King, The Shining is a classic 1980 film for people who aren't afraid of the afterlife's dark side. The movie begins with a man named Jack Torrance (famous played by Jack Nicholson) who is employed as a caretaker of Overlook Hotel. He brings his wife and son with him. His son, Danny, is a psychic who can sense the presence of ghosts and other dark workings in this seemingly harmless hotel. Torrance works as a writer but experiences severe writer's block while there. This mental block evolves into something much more sinister as Torrance experiences a complete psychotic breakdown. It is soon discovered that something gruesome and horrible happened to the family of the last caretaker. It becomes a race against time to bring Torrance back to his senses before he becomes the next killer. It’s a must see for horror fans in general, and with so many VOD providers like Amazon and DirecTV providing it for relatively cheap to watch, you’ve got no excuse to not see it!


Silent Night, Bloody Night

Silent Night, Bloody Night is the film to watch when you want to get scared to the edge of your seat while still wondering what's going to happen at the end. Horror movie enthusiasts enjoy this 1973 film for its classic slasher story combined with a Christmas theme. Starring Patrick O'Neal and Mary Woronov, this movie begins with the mysterious Christmas Eve death of a man, named Wilfred Butler, after his home (which he had turned into an asylum) catches fire. The mystery runs deeper as the surrounding town as more people are picked off by a killer who cannot be stopped or named and the curiosities surrounding that menacing Butler Mansion reach a fever pitch.


Gremlins

Devilish little monsters are the main attraction in Gremlins. Starring Zach Galligan, this movie is about a boy named Billy who made one too many mistakes with a Christmas gift from Chinatown. His father buys a mysterious, yet adorable, pet (called a Mogwai) and is warned by the Chinese sellers to follow very strict rules regarding its care. Never expose the Mogwai to any sort of bright light; never get water on it; and most crucially, no matter how much the new pet begs and cries, never, ever feed it after midnight. Billy inadvertently breaks two of the three rules, and as a result, the entire town has a giant mishap on its hands. The rules have been broken, and these feisty little creatures have awakened their murderous dark side.


Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

It’s rare that a horror film is critically praised but Rare Exports stands out from the pack in more ways than that. In fact the notoriously difficult critic Roger Ebert praised the film calling it “original, daring, carefully crafted film”. This Finnish film itself serves as a twist on the origin of Santa from the team of Jalmari and Juuso Helander. Set by Finland’s Korvatunturi mountain it follows a group of citizens whose livelihood depends on the local reindeer for income and food. Up in the mountain American scientists start blasting away at their mountain, which leads the scientists to discover the monster frozens away hundreds of years before that we now call Santa Claus. The townspeople are obviously distraught when they come across legions of dead reindeer, unknowing of what’s been uncovered in the mountain. Unfortunately for them, their troubles are just starting as the children of the town disappear the next day.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Ask Me Anything 2 Video


Well...

You sure are an interesting bunch. There were some really funny questions and I had a good time answering them. I'll probably do another one of these again early next year.

If you enjoy the video, give it a thumbs up on YouTube. Or else.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Ask Me Anything II


It's time for another round of crazy questions from you and moronic answers from me. You can ask me literally anything you want and I will answer it in a video. Or, at least, acknowledge it and shit on you, me, or whoever.

So, in the comments here, ask a question and you shall receive something inane and pointless on YouTube.

Here is the first Ask Me Anything, in case you missed it.


Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Crappy Horror Movies with the Monster Men


The Monster Men had me on their show again. They might be even crazier than I am. We shot the shit about really, really bad horror movies. I'm talking THE HAPPENING levels of bad.

I broke out the trump card and mentioned Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare, which I blogged about extensively. If you haven't seen this, then you are really missing out. It has to be seen to be believed.

So, check out this episode of the Monster Men and give it a thumbs up on YouTube.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Talking Horror on the Monster Men Podcast


A few months ago, I wrote about a funny show called the Monster Men. It's a podcast that delves into all things horror, but does so with a lot of humor and general fuckery. It's a total blast and I made sure to subscribe on YouTube as soon as I found it.

I had the pleasure of jumping on for an episode or two last week and the results were pretty hilarious. Jack and Hunter are seriously funny dudes and I spent the majority of my time on their show trying not to laugh. Hopefully they'll have me on again sometime soon.

The topic at hand was found-footage movies. Now, these are usually utter crap. I still dig the format though, and there can be a lot of genuine scares if the filmmakers know what they're doing. Unfortunately for us, and for Netflix, they usually don't.

We talked about The Taking of Deborah Logan, Paranormal Activity, Evidence, Alien Abduction, Willow Creek, As Above, So Below, The Sacrament, and a whole lot more.

As always, I'm drinking beer and being an ass. It's what I do.

Give the video a thumbs up if you dig it.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Madness (Asher Benson #2) is Live!


This book was a long time in the making. Asher Benson has returned and he's as snarky and bad ass as ever. Here are the links:


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Asher Benson has once again fled to a secluded cabin in the mountains outside of the sleepy town of Arthur's Creek, West Virginia. Government agents surround him day and night, blanketing his entire life in constant surveillance under the guise of keeping him safe.

That facade is shattered when every cell phone in Arthur's Creek rings simultaneously. Anyone who answers the call is driven into a violent, psychotic madness that turns the entire town into a slaughterhouse.

And Ash is caught in the middle of it all.
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If you enjoy the novel, please review it!